Blog off

At least me and scribbles will understand that title. And a few others, although I am sure that there are few of you reading this now. But, here I am, a bean counter in Britain, and suddenly posting any future stories into my Canadian diary here seem a bit wrong. I may open up another blog - one thing i did discover is that this blogging thing is highly addicitive, and to those of you who passed by, and especially to anyone who made themselves known and made comments, thank you, it made keeping up the blog just that bit more fun, knowing that there might just be someone somewhere on the other end of it...

But this was a blog about Canada, started in May last year when I knew next to nothing about the place, and finishes here in January when i know i would tell anyone, any time, to go and visit the country, any part of it, and prepare to learn. Learn about generosity. I lost all rational measures of generosity as, more and more often, people amazed me with what they were willing to do, both for you as individuals, and in reflecting their country. I think of little things like being given tea bags in an electrical shop on my first full day in Canada, i think of being invited to a cottage having only met its owner twice, I think of my final client work, and the staff there inviting me snowmobiling if i could make it back. My friend Sharon in the office used to print me lists of all the things going on in Toronto at the weekend, and everyone was good enough to tell you what you would enjoy. Invites to other towns, to sports events, to bars, to parades, and a bus driver giving a full detailed history of parts of the rockies on his lunch break...

I'll miss little things too. Push button access for wheelchairs for so many public access doorways and buildings puts our country to shame, and if you have had to negotiate life in, or with, a wheelchair, the people of the UK know how hard that can be. Canada, you have done some things very well. I'll miss the way the shopping is routinely packed for you, i'll miss the 'have a nice days' that staff use, and often want to say. Silence is golden over here, but sometimes silence is just a little bit unfriendly, unwelcoming and gives probably the wrong impression unintentionally.

I wont miss the high rise buildings, which i was never convinced were really built with evacuations in mind if there was a problem, and actually I wont miss 80 or 90c gas charges. We have a different set of social arguments in place at home, and whilst on the face of it it pains people paying $2 a litre for gas in the UK, this is a relative pain, based on the prices elsewhere in the world. However, i know that $1.40 (70p) would feel very cheap, and I also know that there would be a tax hole that would need filling elsewhere. We havent necessarily got it right or wrong. And recognising that someone has to pay for the roads somehow, it is just one answer. Of course, I might change my mind on this, since up until this year my work has paid for all my fuel, and from now on will not cover the same costs. Maybe I am about to enter my 30s and learn what growing into a whinging Englishman is all about!

There is no doubt that there are problems in Canada. The background to the collapse of the government in November indicates that there is exactly the same scope for good and bad in the corridors of power there as anywhere else - similarly, a record number of gun related killings in Toronto in 2005 show that this is not some heavenly Utopia free from all the ills of society. Canada, after all, has a very prominent near neighbour to the south, and it would be a blind man not to believe that some level of influence permeates across the border from below.

But who would I be to criticise that in any way? Just in September there were race riots in my home town, as well as other parts of the UK and Europe as a whole. The government is still heavily implicated in decisions to go to war, in the deaths of people who apparently opposed it, and even this week, ministers are having to defend the policies adopted by certain education authorities in their recruitment policies. No place is perfect, and we can all learn something from everywhere new we go. When things are different, it is usually for a reason.

So what did i learn? I learned that Canada has a mix of people just as diverse as ours, and, whilst it may not openly treat them any differently, better or worse, their existence is accepted better than it is at home. I hope I bring that back. Canada has a short yet proud history, with many people who have done many things to improve the lifestyles and quality of lives of all people, Canadian or otherwise. From their input into inventions of simple everyday gadgets like the radio, telephone, television, the keeping of time, and medical jumps like the discovery of insulin, these 30m people today can be proud that their forefathers made jumps that we are all in some way thankful for or benefitting from. Its a clean country, a modern country, and has a respect for its environment and its potential uses that i think all of us in the 'old world' could learn from. No doubt Canada doesnt always get it right, but there were very few people and places able to claim that.

And i learned of a huge country that i was only able to see the smallest part of. The best thing about Canada, I would imagine, is that, no matter how many times you see it, it might always leave you wanting more. For all the good things i saw, the rockies, Niagara falls, the CN tower, Montreal, Vancouver, Algonquin Park and besides, there are so many more things left to discover. I never once got out East, and i only had the smallest experience of the west. Not to mention the north... (and who wants to go south?!!). Possibly the most unbelievable thing is that I arrived in Canada with a very limited knowledge of the country, its history, its people and its places, but a reasonable length 'to do' list. I didnt accomplish that list, but many things did get accomplished, many of which would never have been foreseen. After a 6 month stay, the weirdest thing is that, if I was to make another 'to do' list tomorrow, it would be longer than the list i could manage from 2005. And it would all be different.

To Canada, thank you for the experiences. To the blogosphere, thank you for sharing.

Random Canadian factoid 7 - The group of seven.

Picture: Algonquin park image, by Tom Thomson.

Ok. So this is a post for Cressman, who has agreed to do me a 3 figure Cressman original (is that 3 figures Canadian Dave?!) and also f0r Kim.

For the eagle eyed amongst you, who may have noticed (but probably didnt!) that there was never a 7th random factoid, there was a reason for this, and this was the reason. I never actually got round to posting about the Group of Seven, so here goes. Cressman was looking in need of inspiration this morning, so this is for him.

In 1920, J.E.H. MacDonald, Lawren Harris, A.Y. Jackson, Arthur Lismer, Franklin Carmichael, F.H. Varley and Frank Johnston officially formed this now famous group. These were painters bitten by the Canadian north who, for the first time, took on the task of painting the great power, scenery and spirit of their land.

This truly Canadian art movement was started, not by professional painters, but by a loose association of acquaintances who travelled north from Toronto on their vacations to paint and relax. The modern Canadian so-called "school", was inspired as the result of a direct contact with nature itself.

Before 1910, a Canadian art movement, inspired by the Canadian landscape, was not considered possible.

The public and artists themselves preferred the softer, mistier and tamer landscapes of the old world. Most Canadian artists studied abroad and continued their work here, usually after the manner of the Barbizon and Dutch schools. They painted scenes of cows and trees in the best academic tradition with lots of detail and dark brown colouring. Horatio Walker and Homer Watson both painted in this style, often referred to as the "cow school". 'In Europe, tradition'- that powerful despot- seemed to mould or curb artistic expression, at least for a time.

As an "outpost" of culture, Canadians followed the rules of the European art world. Canadian art authorities did not believe that our rough landscape was fit subject matter for art. "It's bad enough to live in this country," an old lady once told A.Y. Jackson, "without having pictures of it in your home." This, and the attitude that pine trees were unpaintable, slowly began to change.

Since Canadian confederation in 1867, we were involved in an era of re-evaluation in art, science, religion and life itself. This evaluation was slow, but necessary to develop a "concept of self" for this young nation.

Members of the Group of Seven consciously expressed this nationalistic philosophy in their paintings and many written articles. Arthur Lismer once stated that "It is necessary that as Canadians we should believe we are capable of producing great art as we believe we are capable of doing great deeds."

The men who would later form the Group of Seven, with the exception of Harris and Jackson, were employed in Toronto as commercial artists at Grip Ltd. Tom Thomson, a co-worker and friend of these men, was also employed there.

Thomson was not an official member of the Group as he died in Algonquin Park two and a half years before it formed. However, he was influenced by and in turn had influence upon his contemporaries, and became perhaps more famous than the group itself.

The group paved the way for Canadian artists to develop a unique style of recording the many incredible views of the country in which they lived.

Canada 1-0 UK

This is what we are waking up to this morning.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4561728.stm

Canadians, as if you needed us to tell you, you do snow so much better than us... Here in the east we are apparently stranded in. Hopefully G and M have made their flight, and I am going to try and get to work... only 90 miles. How hard can it be, eh Scribbles? -5 indeed.

Wrap up warm. And dont forget your polos and fruit and nut bars. Could be delays out there..

How Canadian are you?

Here is a little test. See how much you know about Canada. The answers are probably not in this blog! Canadians, you will probably score ok. Brits, play it with the sound on to experience a near authentic ice hockey experience, including maimings by the end of the game. Enjoy.

http://www.cbc.ca/chillybeach/trivia/trivia26.swf

Something good from being lazy : CHUMcity

Well people. For anyone still looking here, I made it back to the UK on Monday morning, and am now in the process of re-establishing myself in my office. I have a laptop, and as soon as my gracious Canadian employers see fit to remove me from their records, I will be able to get outlook here. Hurry up Canadians.. you know you want rid of me.

I think i have mentioned several times how lazy I am capable of being. A mass of contradictions as my good friend Scribbles puts it.

Luckily, out of laziness can come some good. For (and this will not surprise Brian or Joe) having been too lazy to do anything with the coins that have been lying round my flat for the last 6 months, my urban angel Amy took responsibility for making sure that something good came of them.

So the $50 that had been built up was passed on to CHUM city, a Toronto childrens charity.

CHUMCity Christmas Wish, in conjunction with City of Toronto Community and Neighbourhood Social Services, helped almost 500 registered agencies, which represented an unprecedented 300,000 children and families in need of assistance. The CHUMCity Christmas Wish has become one of the largest distributors of toys to those in need in the GTA, as well as providing financial assistance to hundreds of agencies. With many funding cuts in recent years, the CHUMCity Christmas Wish has become the last hope for many to give a child a Christmas. With generous financial donations and new unwrapped toys, the CHUMCity Christmas Wish supplies registered charitable organizations, social service agencies, churches, and community centres. In turn, they distribute the donations to those families, of many faiths and cultures, who require support.

You can learn more at http://www.thewish.ca/wishCore.cfm

My last "Canadian" post

This one might just be the last one I post from Canada. Just because I am horrendously busy, and I have until 5pm to give this computer in.... at this point, and with one or two big events still to come, I am not sure I am in a position to try and summarise what I have made of my experience here.. Sunday promises to be a great climax, and I might just need a few days 'come down' to really reflect on what my first experience of this wonderful country has been like. I am encouraged that, with just over 48 hours until I fly, it still feels hugely positive. I dont, and wouldnt have expected anything else...

So i will refrain from the philosophical splurge for the time being. Instead I shall wish Rory a very happy 25th birthday, as well as congratulating him on getting a distinction in his masters in translation. Clever clogs, arent you? Well done buddy.

And having just got an invite from Ticketmaster to purchase Take That tickets this spring, i will reflect on the lyrics of one of their songs, as i prepare to log off and head back towards what Johnny calls the 'mother ship'.

So, trying to reflect on an experience like this...

"Never forget where you've come here from. Never pretend its all real. Someday soon, this will all be someone else's dream"..

When i wake up from my dreams (i've not slept in 36 hours..) I will have plenty more to say I am sure. For now Canada, thank you. The next time I write, it'll be from home.

Birthday Pictures

So here we are. Just a couple of pictures from my 30th birthday. On such a milestone, it was worth doing something special... i dont think i ever imagined it would involve a moose dressed as a mountie though... still 9 out of 10 from "them pair" made it a journey well spent..

Me and my 'A1". No laughing at my headgear. Nicole was responsible for it! The poor girl had to spend a month working with me on only her 2nd audit, she had to put up with me sleeping in her car, me speaking in riddles (well, English, but to her it felt like riddles - although she now knows that white coffee is coffee with milk, heaving is busy and peckish is hungry). She also had to pick lunch every day for a month. I am flattered that, by the end of it, she is still talking to me! Thanks Nicole! I'm going to miss you.

My other key partner in crime, TK. We spent more than 2 months working together. Personally, i dont know which of us will be more scarred from the experience, but psychologists both in Woodbridge and Peterborough will be making money as a result of our friendship I am sure..

Bit more self flattery. Me with as many women as I could find. All of them pretending to smile. See how polite they are in Canada? Thank you girls!

Katie painted me a picture.. you can see from the photo just how good it is.. for all the gifts guys, the Inukshuk (thanks Amy) and the ipod, thank you so much.

Me, and two of my best friends. Only these two know how much stress I have caused them over the past few months. Regardless of where my life takes me, i hope that Kim and Suzanne remain as important to me as they have been while I was here. Between you two, you have been the most generous people i met, and given me the life i have developed. And i know how much you two put into my birthday..

And a bit more ego massage. This was quite late in the day, but ended the day as i would have wished. Home, warm, smiling, with friends. It was a fantastic birthday, and thank you all for sharing it and making it so.

A creed to live by..

For anyone passing by the blog today in search of a little inspiration. Because we could all use some from time to time.

Dont undermine your worth
by comparing yourself with others
It is because we are different
that each of us is special.

Dont set your goals by what
other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.

Dont take for granted the things
closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life
for without them life is meaningless.

Dont let your life slip through your fingers
by living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time
you live all the days of your life.

Dont give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over....
until the moment you stop trying.

Dont be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Dont be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Dont shut love out of your life
by saying its impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love
the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings

Dont dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope;
to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Dont run through life so fast
that you forget not only where you've been
but also where you're going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured
each step of the way.

(Nancy Sims)

Couple of congratulations

Two small congratulations. Firstly to my baby sister (who is pregnant) and turns 27 today.

And secondly to Mark and Becky, who were here last month, who have got engaged. Some of the snippets of our MSN conversation at 430 this morning...

"its a cooked meal for the rest of my days and a clean shirt mate"

"she wanted me to ask so i did"

"will be good mate at least have a stag do to plan and a wedding drinking session"

"i asked mate thats the main thing"

"best bit mate getting presents"

Smooth, Mark. Very smooth. Just thought i'd add that. Who said there was no romance in Pboro? We're just not quite as good at it as some of these French types thats all!!!

Anyway guys. Congratulations. See you in a week for a celebratory drink.

Winter Wonderland? Or just autumn?

This was the view from my living room window when I got up on my birthday. Is this adequate excuse for being too lazy to drive to work?!

That said, all I've heard for the last few weeks is 'wait til winter really arrives'. Although on Friday, someone did concede on email that I was getting 'a bit more experience of a Canadian winter..'

So today, I did brave the roads. Its -13 outside, and with windchill this drops to -20. So, is it winter yet, I asked? "wait til January" was the response. Although Thomas did admit that its 'not this cold normally in December'. Interesting use of the word 'normally'. Its not this cold normally in my freezer, which is set to a positively balmy minus 18.

So anyway, tonight in Oshawa we are expecting it to drop down to around -23 apparently, windchill and all things considered... i dont quite have enough fingers to count that far, and if it gets that low, not sure i'll be able to use them either!

I may be in a better position to conclude on whether or not it is in fact winter by tomorrow. All I can say is.... it had better be! Brrrr.

Breaking news...

This one is mainly for the lovely Stamford All Saints. There is a rumour knocking around that one of the readers of this blog knows where Mountie Moose is located...

Ai a minha vida. How exciting is that?! I'll be so gutted now if it turns out to be a false alarm...

Yay - its my birthday.

Well, someone has to celebrate it! But actually, you people have been nice today. Its interesting to see the different ways people have had to communicate on this (fairly insignificant) day.

Conventional cards: Parents, Sara Lorraine & Mel, my fellow GDPers, Mark & Becky..

Emails: Steve & Mari, Rory, Brian, Parton, Elyse, Suzanne, Cath W, Catherine S, Dad.

Text message: Vicky

Blog post: Scribbles (thank you!!!!)

Ecards: Maria, Kim, Dad (clearly bored!), Ciara & Caitlyn (assisted I am sure!), Brassington, Amy, Ana. You're all show offs. I tried attaching a smily to an email the other week and it took 3 days to do it..

Anyway - to all of you. Thank you all so much. I know full well I am going to forget to thank someone personally over the next couple of days, but i appreciate all your thoughts of me..

So what have i learned about myself this birthday? Well, so far, I have learned that i am a big wuss. I went out in the car this morning (there is half a foot of snow outside) and the car was sliding all over the place, so I decided to drive back home, and work from home instead!

I then went to bed for an hour before starting work, which should have taught me how lazy I can be... but I knew that already!

I have learned that I am beyond opening birthday cards and hoping for a crisp note to drop out. These days, its the message in the card that counts!

And based on my Hungarian mate Lajos' message in my card, I am going to learn the Hungarian team which inflicted the first home defeat on England at Wembley back in 1953.

The message said simply this

"Grosics, Lantos, Lorant, Buzanczky, Zakarias, Bozsik, Puskas, Kocsis, Czibor, Hidegkuty, Buday. 6:3"

Happy birthday indeed! Which will no doubt improve tonight as I have a dinner date with Christine and Elyse. Mmmm.

There are significant celebrations also planned for tomorrow, but I'll wait and see how i survive today first!

Mountie Moose - Tacky enough for you?!

I'm setting myself up for a big fall here. Some preliminary research into Canadian tack has revealed that, a few years ago, Toronto had a charity event called 'Moose in the City'.

The statistics for Moose in the City were extremely impressive… from April to October 2000, Toronto's streets were filled with 326 magnificent moose sculptures, created by 500 local artists and sponsored by more than 250 patrons. The exhibition resulted in a season of spectacular moose events and generated well over $5 million in world-wide media coverage for the City of Toronto! Moose in the City also influenced visitation by close to 2 million tourists, injected $400 million into Toronto's economy and raised $1.4 million for Canada's Olympic Athletes and local Toronto charities.

You can find pictures of all the mooses at http://www.toronto.ca/moose/home.htm

Now here is the interesting bit. Although the mooses were auctioned off early in 2001 for charity, they make festive reappearances in downtown Toronto during the Christmas season. This has got to be the ultimate challenge. To find one of these mooses, and get a photo with it. Sara. Lorraine. I hope I dont disappoint you!

A message for Sara and Lorraine (and Mel)

Firstly. Thank you for the birthday card. All references to 'old' have been ignored. And I would never dare be rude about either of you pair, you know that. After all, Lorraine has kicked the arses of enough Olympic standard fighters for me to know when not to mess! And even if I wasnt scared of her (I'd never admit to that, but she is only about 8 stone after all..) i know the 2 of you have something far more scary up your sleeves... How did Sara put it? "One word. Noddy." Oh Shit.

So ladies. This challenge. Canadian 'tack'. On the one hand I am tempted to defend my host nation and declare that there is no such thing as 'tack' over here. On the other hand, I go past the dollar store every day. And i have already armed myself with enough magnetic tack to decorate significant parts of your office on my return.

So - can we formalise this challenge? Lets put points to objects here. You want me to pose in a birthday photo with something 'Canadian and tacky'. Maple syrup doesnt score, and top marks for mounties? Did you not see the Halloween photos?! I am prepared to ridicule myself for most things sadly. So i will see your challenge. But we need formal rules. 2 poses = 2 points? Does typical Canadian dress score? (I already own a tacky ice hockey shirt, and i have my eyes on a tuque with the 'ear flaps' as Sturino calls them).

I may regret this... but not for too long. After all, if I REALLY embarrass myself, I can always delete the posting off my blog!

Talk to you soon.

Two more weeks for CBC in Canada...

Picture: Our fantastic Canadian family.

This week in Canada:

- 171 MPs voted against the government in a vote of no confidence
- Harry Potter topped at the box office with revenues of $20.5m (well done Doug!)
- The 649 lotto jackpot was $24m (and no, once again, I didnt win. booo)
- There were 506 sprout related salmonella cases in Ontario (remember, Sprouts are for life, not just for Christmas..)
- CBC skipped breakfast 6 times - naughty CBC (the only one I didnt skip was brunch at Mels, and that was possibly too late to qualify for 'breakfast'!)

But of course the main thing that happened this week was the send off of the first 2 Brits. And as you can see from the pictures above and below, we signed them off well. Drinks all Friday night, then up to Williams' flat, and then Saturdaybrunch followed by a mass convoy to the airport. Reminded me of a period some 9 years ago, where we seemed to be at Dusseldorf airport every week saying goodbye. Tears here too. (from far too many of us, and yes, my eyes were a little damp when Andy walked through that door!)

Nice all in photo at the top, and this was good too. Typically finding Suzanne at the centre of things (when isnt she?!), most of the major players are in here. We might have to do a little biography of each of them over the next week or so...

Meanwhile, as ever in search of ego massage, I managed to find a few girls willing to stand within a few feet of me... (if only more of them had noticed the camera!!!!)

But no doubting the highlight of the night. The guys spent many a secret hour at Pauls over brunch last weekend discussing the plans for this, and from what Will called 'brainstorming', what emerged was a personalised photo album for both of the Brits, with a range of photos, and a personal photo of each of us, so that we could leave a message for them. So what did I write? No idea (i was wasted!). But it probably wasnt as nice as what Andy wrote to me in his Christmas card ("I owe you for introducing me to this group"), and probably WAS nicer than what Doug wrote in his (Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, the little lord Jesus looked up and he said... "we hate boro, we hate boro, we hate boro"). Which of the 2 do you think is from Cambridge?! And just to close a similar topic. Suzanne. No. POSH does not stand for Peterborough are Shit. (Although i guess it could, and probably with some justification!)

So, having set the boys up with their gifts, the Canadians took them to the airport and many tears were shed. Doug said as heartfelt a thank you as he could muster in the circumstances, and Will applied a nice bit of perspective to the situation: "You should see what we do for people we like!"

Just being there was a moving experience. I know I speak for Doug and Andy when I say how good this group of people has been in taking us in and making us feel at home. I wont list any names for fear of forgetting one of you. But thank you all. For all the beauty, for all the spectacular places, sights, scenery, buildings, skylines, sunrises, sunsets and more, the most unforgettable aspect of this country will stay its people. Priceless and irreplaceable. I intend to make the most of the next fortnight...

Random Canadian Factoid 9 - Grey Cup: then and now

So here are 3 of the Edmonton Eskimos celebrating their win in the Grey Cup this weekend. For those of you who dont know, the Grey Cup is the final of Canada's American football competition, so our equivalent might be something like the FA cup final.

Sean Fleming booted the winning field goal in overtime to lift the Eskimos to a thrilling (CBC's words, not mine!) 38-35 win over the Montreal Alouettes in the 93rd Grey Cup in what will go down as one of the greatest contests in the history of the CFL's championship game, played in front of 59,000 in BC place in Vancouver, a futuristic indoor stadium. (Yes of course I took photos of it while I was there!) Its a long way away from the first Grey Cup final. On my wanders through Rosedale Park on Impact day (30th September), I wandered across this park and sign.



This, as the sign tells you, is the site of the very first Grey Cup final, played here in Toronto back in 1909, with rules probably more akin to rugby than current day gridiron. Today, its just a small park with a spot of baseball and tennis, but I was excited by it. Which possibly says more about me than anything else!

The first winners of the cup were the University of Toronto. Which isnt as weird sounding as all that. Because, although the first FA cup winners were (now premiership) Bolton Wanderers back in 1872, the 3rd cup (1874) was won by Oxford University, who incidentally have played in 4 FA cup finals. Thats twice as many as Birmingham City and Peterborough United. Combined.

OK. Enough trivia for one day. I might earn myself a reputation for being sad! (What do you mean, 'might'?!)

The big 3-0

....is not far away. 10 days off I think. But this is not a post about that. Its just a tenous way of getting this article on to my blog.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/league_cup/4472922.stm

So thats for my dad, and Scribbles, both of whom I am sure had a little giggle at the demise of the 'mighty' Villa. Even Brian will doubtless have enjoyed it.

Will avoid jokes about the holy Trinity. You've all thought of them already!

Hey scribbles - we made the BBC front page

I say 'we'. I mean Canada. It doesnt often make the top of the news back home, but this was showing tonight on the BBC website.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4480218.stm

A vote of no confidence in Paul Martin's government has led to it falling, defeated in the vote today by 171 votes to 133. One of you at least can tell me how many no votes/abstensions that means!! (You know who you are!)

Unfortunately, the election is expected on 23 January, so I will miss it. Gutted. I spent all this summer hoping to miss our own vote last May (sadly, my travel arrangements just couldnt sort themselves quickly enough..). It will be interesting to see how an election is fought out here.

Scribbles - keep watching!

This week in Canada I....

Sorry folks. Oh it has been a weird topsy turvy week on and off the field. Work coming out of my ears (and anywhere else it could find places to emerge from...), party invites to celebrate everything from exams to birthdays to the mere existence of English people in Toronto, pool competitions... and a little bit more besides. I just havent really found the energy to tap into the screen this week to say hello to you all. But anyway.

So. A brief synopsis. This will make sense to me (and probably me alone), but will in time remind me of the week that was.

This week in Canada I..

- learned that if you ask for a 'white coffee' in a coffee shop you'll get stared at blankly, but if you order an extra large double double, regular or a black coffee, you will get something coffee related. I'm not sure why 'white coffee' causes so much confusion! And dont even get me started on 'jacket' potatoes!

- got a Canadian texting me every week day this week. Elyse at least will recognise this as an achievement of sorts!

- learned that, when being told to use the 'clear' lane in the snow, 'clear' does NOT mean the lane without traffic in it. To put it another way, snow is much slippier than tarmac!

- learned to drive no handed on the 401. I managed 4km through Mississauga on Wednesday night without touching the steering wheel - admittedly rarely hitting the heights of 10kmh as the snow came pouring down. I attribute this skill entirely to my dad, who drove many miles no handed whilst I was a little boy - and at far greater speeds than 10kmh. Something to aspire to...

- did the English proud in a drinking session, as 3 of us spent far too long sinking tequila shots. And unlike Williams, I was in work by 845 the next day!

- was a pool shark for the night, with the particular highlight being the 7 balling of the same Williams - before he really got stuck into the alcoholic shots, I might add. On the other hand, despite winning 6-1 in singles, I should admit that, in mixed doubles, i lost 3-0. In that moment i also discovered that I am worse than average with women! Hmmm. Should i rephrase that? Nah. Self ridicule is what this blog is here for!

- learned that it is not always better to have 'loved and lost' as the proverb goes, but it does give you the experience to deal with it better the next time.

- spent the night pulling faces with a bunch of young professionals in a public bar. Oh, may i never forget what it feels like to do young silly things! And hopefully, Suzanne permitting, there will be photographic evidence of this later this week!

- got the most wonderful comment in my blog from my UK blogger pal scribbles. And on the back of this I really started for the first time looking forward to seeing the UK again. Its been 5 months, and it suddenly feels like it.

- got an email from my home office telling me I couldnt come back to Canada between January and March. On reflection, this will give some people a break from me (which i am sure they need!), and it will give me a chance to reflect on the experiences I've had here so far, and whether I would want to repeat them. The odds were looking pretty good up til last week, so who knows...

- got an invite to a Canadian Christmas dinner that was cooked for 3 British guys who have been over here this autumn. Chris, Elyse, Amy, Nicki, Jamie, Will, Paul, Suzanne, Katie, Christine. Thank you all so much. Most of the funniest nights we spent here were thanks to you all.

- opened Canadian Christmas crackers and discovered that the piece of paper with the joke comes with 2 jokes, one in English and one in French. This is Canada, after all!

- discovered that Canadian Christmas cracker jokes are every bit as crap as ours:

1) Why do bakers work so hard?
Because they kneed dough

2) How can you stop a rhino from charging?
Take away his credit cards

3) Customer: 'This steak is terrible, I want the manager'
Waiter: 'Sorry sir, he's not on the menu'

I dont think even Kim is going to crack a smile at those!

- discovered that Glasgow Rangers FC, having lost 2-1 to Hibs this weekend, have gone 8 games without a win for the first time in their 132 year history. Their fans dont know when they are born. The Toronto Raptors (NBA team, known locally as the 'craptors') lost their first 9 games this season! Not to mention the joys of supporting Peterborough or Birmingham.

- went to watch the Pld 9 lost 9 Raptors at the Air Canada Centre on Sunday. And they won! Crowd of 17,594 enjoyed the entertainment. And because they scored 100+ points (107-94 v Miami Heat), we got a free slice of pizza from 'Pizza Pizza' (its a chain, and i challenge anyone to find a way of using the word pizza 4 times in 5 words in a real English sentence!). For the record, the Raptors are now 1-11.

- Reread the whole of my blog. It was a funny week, and i really wanted to remember the good that Canada has been for me. To all you Canadians, you have a great place here, I love it and I know I will be back to share time with you again. Its been a huge pleasure, the whole thing.

So that was last week. Photos I will sort soon. I couldnt really have predicted last week, and i guess anything could happen this week too. www.pootergeek.com has his own thoughts on this matter, (hilarious, for anyone with a small grasp of German who fancies a laugh), and i for one wouldnt be surprised, or disappointed to see it happen.

Nachste Montag, Wetter permitten, wir invaden der Frankreich.

Lets see what the new week has in store. Eh?

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

Sometimes you just have to accept the challenge as it occurs - and tomorrow I am driving 500km to and from Strathroy to humour my client. To interview 2 people. To pick up a couple of documents. And to challenge myself still further. For it will doubtless involve snow. Thats the white stuff in the sky, and not anything else, for those of you questionning my moral habits!

I am sure I will tire of the "dont you get snow in England?" question. Well, yes. It lasts about 2 or 3 days a year, its generally turned to slush within a few hours, and is guaranteed to bring chaos to rail and road networks across the country.

But here is an interesting one. Any idea what the average snowfall in the UK is? Well, from one website, I found that, for the years 1961-90, Berkshire had an average winter snowfall of 5.4mm, Pembrokeshire 6.6mm and County Down 10.5mm.

But hang on, I hear you say. We can make snow balls with our snow, so it must be more than 7 or 8mm average. You are right, because snowfall is apparently 12 times thicker than its water equivalent. In other words, if the numbers above suggest an average of 8mm a year of water equivalent, thats (12 x 8 ) mm of snow. Call it 10cm. Or for those of you who are still measuring in the old ways, 4 inches. (I was going to say 6 inches, but this is a family site....!)

Anyway, according to our friends at www.theweathernetwork.com, it feels like -10 in London (the nearest town to where I am headed), and i can expect 10cm of snow in the next 24 hours. That'll be a year's annual UK snowfall then!

This inspired one particularly kind local to text me to say be careful driving in the snow. The instructions I got are as follows:


- keep some distance from the car in front of you

- take your time

- no sweat!

- the car will probably have ABS (newer cars do) - I guess you wouldnt know about ABS? (I'm not sure i've ever mentioned the P309, but there will be a whole lot of people back home agreeing with that comment!)

- just drive in the clearest lane possible

- the snow on either side of your tire tracks can grab your tires and pull you in, so just be careful

- we do it all the time! (yeah, i've seen the other things 401 drivers do too....)

- its the only way to learn

- i dont mean to scare you (no no, keep it coming....)

- you'll be fine ( i got this particular one 4 times!!!).

So there you go. Instructions for driving the Ontarian winter, for any of you thinking of an out of season visit. I rather fancy that, unlike at home, the 10cm of snow will not close all roads tomorrow, so i expect to go and come back, and have something to say come tomorrow night.

Wish me luck!

Random Canadian Factoid no 8 - a YYZ one for Sullivan

Short but sweet. I need to post a little something to remind you all I am here. The best thing about this blog is that I have buy in from other people. Unbelievably, other people are actually helping me find bits of information to put in here. So a special thank you to today's contributor! (They know who they are)

The generosity of people in general here is something i just cannot believe. Because, not only am I collecting things for my blog, I am also collecting 25c coins - of which there are goodness knows how many variations. It was a sad something I noticed way back in June, that there are many different faces to the 25c. Now, I am having people keep the unusual ones for me when we meet up, and at least 4 people have turned up with special coins for me...

On the other hand, this generosity comes at a price. For today's factoid is this - that Toronto is the most expensive airport in the world, when it comes to landing fees. http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20051115/pearson_fees_051115/20051116?hub=Canada

I am working on getting a dissertation from my mate DS as to why this is the case, and what the landing fees pay for. If they are in any way responsible for the brand new Terminal one at Lester B Pearson, it was money well spent. Easily the most pain free terminal I have flown out of..

Sadly, for the rest of you, the costs of landing an aeroplane here probably add about $35 to your flight ticket. But, if you want to come over here, its a small price to pay. The memories of your time in Toronto? Priceless.

Whats in your inbox?

Email - the pain of my life. Not only can I get 25 in an hour while people are planning the next social activity - you know who you are people! - but, in attempts to manage the 50 a day I am getting, my 'hotmail' account (other free web based email accounts are available)! doesnt get looked at, with the result that, now and again, i get a note saying:

"Your aunt has just been talking to your mother on the 'phone, it appears that she emailed you but has not had a reply."

Naughty Matt. And yes, Matt has replied to his auntie.

Anyway, now and again, between the IAS weekly updates, the Audit alerts, the other circulars, the social ones and the serious ones, something stands out and i try to remember to keep it. Sadly, all too often, they get deleted once my inbox hits 90mb, as thats my limit, and as various people reading this site will tell you, i've no idea what i am doing with a laptop...

Anyway, for my amusement, and hopefully some of yours, here are a sample of quotes from my inbox as it stands, before i delete them.


The Canadian communications

“At least you still have the Ashes” (coming from a Canadian, this is my greatest achievement since I’ve been here!)

“Also...text message? I'm not sure what you mean. My understanding is that 'mobiles' or cell phones (as they are known in Canada) are to be used to...well... phone people. Crazy, I know”

“Brain injury causes British accent. This explains quite a lot” (from this link -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3235934.stm )

Client communications

"p.s. I’m on page 68 of the IFRS questionnaire and I’m ready to hang myself…."

"I don’t think they know what “lead sheets” are" (from a corporate controller, you'd be worried too!)

A party invitation

"You'll be pleased (?) to know that you are top of the guest list, so there's an offer you can't refuse. I think you are going to be expected to provide some singing / guitar playing entertainment"

"pass-the-parcel is also on the itinerary along with bingo" (in case I’m too boring, presumably!!)

The Random others...

"cricket was great. Could not enjoy it all that well because of the exams, though. Since they're over now, I've got a broken nose. The missus didn't realise I was getting out of the car behind her and smashed the door in my face! I am having to go for surgery on Wed."

"I'm told that Canada is a lot better than the US" (yes this is real, and added just for you Canadians!)

"I dread to think what time it is in your part of the world now and why on earth you are free to email" (Auditor struggling with -5 hours!)

"tune into Gazetta this week, for more shots, rounds and people hitting the bar than 'Boozey Britain 2'"

"Milan were all over the old lady like a sailor on payday..."

"I'm feeling quite sick (strange and plentifulmix of drinks last night). Been browsing your website. Do you actually have time to do any work what with all the sightseeing, socialising and then writing it all up?"

"A few of us ended up back at the office until 5 drinking the champagne and having races on the chairs - how mature!"

"one bartenders name is Dale and if you are really nice to him he looks away while pouring your alcohol"

"You'll like this one Matt, although it may come as a surprise - have snared myself a bird!!"

"Now for the interesting bit…….she is a new first year"

"Be very proud to be British because.. Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an Ambulance"

"they have already invited me to the Christmas party and also to Christmas lunch with the afternoon off work to continue the drinking, they sound like my kind of people!"

"I've got a bit of a headache (caused by IFRS2) and a sore bum (from climbing Snowdon) but am otherwise fine"


I shouldnt curse email. You guys are giving me all the entertainment i could ever want, so thank you. Whoever you are, wherever you are, catch up with you soon.

Breaking news

I knew it might happen. More than that, I should have been expecting it sooner or later. Today, it happened.

Its snowing. Jeepers. Current temperatures in London (Ontario), where I'm staying are -3, which with windchill feel like -10. Thats going to drop to -12 overnight.... Brrrr

You can share my pain at www.theweathernetwork.com where you will find all of Canada's current and forecasted weather.

In the meantime, Nicole and I have been discussing the difference between functional and fashionable hats and scarves. I think i am just about to find out which category my Posh scarf and fleece hat fall in to....

One for mum, dad and Brian

So this is where we found ourselves Friday night.... I got ridiculously excited by the pub name (expecially the 75 bit, which a few of you will know about, and the 'touch of Ireland in Toronto', which seemed apt given the week I had..)

Sleepless in Strathroy...

...or maybe not. Because, as anyone who has seen me recently, either at Katie's cottage last month or at Paul's house last weekend will point out, I can fall asleep ANYWHERE. I am expecting abuse from a semi anonymous blogger now telling me just some of the places I fell asleep whilst we were on our pan European travels back in 1997.

So, the two incidents above demonstrated that, given the right mix of alcohol (or to put it another way, 2 beers) and a warm room, I can sleep through all interruptions.

Sadly, the same was also true on Sunday afternoon after two nights awake post midnight during the weekend. Age is catching me as fast as the 20s are leaving me....

So, to add to sofas in front of Billy Connolly and chairs in front of porn (apparently, see nothing moves me!), I can add that the noise of a Corolla doing 120 on the 401 doesnt bother me, and neither does music, the telephone (unless Paul is on the phone!) or a motorway rumble strip, all of which Nicole tried to use to stir me, without luck!

Strathroy, population 11,000, finds itself 250km south west of Toronto. But we're busy, so I havent had the chance to go out looking at it yet and I cannot report on how active the place is.

Nicole on the other hand did the lunch round and found a Quiznos Sub, which for the guys back home is an alternative to Subway or Mr Sub. For a country with the sea faring history of Canada, there are a lot of subs around here.

Quiznos has a business card draw every week - the story goes that you put your business card into a pot, and if it is drawn out, you win a free meal.

Nicole reports that there were two business cards in the bucket, so was going to put hers in on top, but hesitated.

"When is the draw?"
"Friday"
"I wont be here anyways.. we're leaving on Friday"
"We'll do it Thursday so you can use it Friday"

Its not the lotto 649, but the odds sound promising. I've no idea what else we'll see out here, but I have the camera with me just in case....

Canadian factoid 6 - and Canada's contribution to remembrance day

Picture: the war memorial, Peterborough, Ontario.

On remembrance day, the factoid today is about the Canadian $10 bill and poppies. My technological supervisor did sort me out a picture of the relevant monetary image, but sadly I couldnt get it on to the screen. However, you can get a view of all Canadian notes at http://www.vancouver.hm/money.html and in the meantime i shall work on my cut and paste techniques!

The reverse side of the Canadian $10 depicts images related to peacekeeping and remembrance, with poppy decoration and that famous line 'lest we forget' (in English and French); this is accompanied by a quotation from John McCrae's poem "In Flanders Fields".

Ever wondered why we wear poppies to mark the occasion?

Scarlet poppies (popaver rhoeas) grow naturally in conditions of disturbed earth throughout Western Europe. The destruction brought by the Napoleonic wars of the early 19th Century, transformed bare land into fields of blood red poppies, growing around the bodies of the fallen soldiers. In late 1914, the fields of Northern France and Flanders were once again ripped open as the First World War raged through Europe's heart. The significance of the poppy as a lasting memorial symbol to the fallen was realised by the Canadian surgeon McCrae in his poem. The poppy came to represent the immeasurable sacrifice made by his comrades and quickly became a lasting memorial to those who died in the First World War and later conflicts.

So, when you wear your poppy with pride this remembrance day, it was a Canadian that was responsible for creating the symbol. Here is the poem he wrote about Flanders fields...

In Flanders Fields

(Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918) Canadian Army)

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

One for the Irish and the Auditors

After my previous indiscretions, I really shouldn't post jokes on here, but there is an old joke that used to do the rounds back home:

Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet?
A: 24 - the IRA have just blown up C&A.

(for Canadians who might not get it, C&A was a shop like Sears, and the IRA an Irish terror group).

I am working on a variation of this joke. Something like

Q: How many letters are there in a happy auditor's alphabet?
A: 24 - Once you've got rid of D & I.

Still in its infancy, but I am sure there are people out there who will work on it....

Random Canadian factoid no 5 - Radio Broadcasting

Reginald Fessenden - Extracts From National Capitol Commission of Canada;

At the end of the 19th century, people communicated by radio using Morse code - sputtering dots and dashes that trained radio operators could decode into a message. Canadian Reginald Fessenden, changed all that. He is best known for his invention of the modulation of radio waves, the "heterodyne principle" which allowed the reception and transmission on the same aerial without interference.

In 1900 he transmitted the world's first voice message. It took six years for him to refine his invention but on Christmas Eve, 1906, Reginald Fessenden made the first radio broadcast in history when ships off the Atlantic coast with Fessenden-designed equipment broadcast the first trans-Atlantic voice transmission.

So whether its 99.9, 102.7, 103.5 or 96.4 you're tuned in to tomorrow, if its any good, you can thank Canada for it.

If its shite, you can always tune in to something else! Or put a CD on. Canadians helped provide us with gramophones too, so there's plenty to be grateful to them for!

30 in 30 days... and 30 things about me

My mate Scribbles some weeks ago wrote down a whole lot of things she thought about. Well, as I am pushing 30, and as that milestone inspires me to reflect on the fun and games of the last 10 years, here are 30 things I can say about myself. Most of you who read these and know me will already know these, but you never know... and we'll get back to the Canadiana later - after all, 30 in 30 days only happens once!

I have real trouble convincing people how shy I am, and secretly I wish that more people believed me.

At 30, the longest I have ever had a job is 2 yrs and 7 months… (and its this one).

If ever I settled down, I couldn’t mix it with life as a bean counter.

Secretly, I think I will be stressed, no matter what job I have – I have come to accept that I will ‘take it home with me’.

This probably stopped me doing something I would love to be able to do, which is counselling.

The friends I will count as my best at 30 were, for the most part, not in my life when I was 20.

I have had some big life changing moments, but I still take what I have for granted too much.

I cant take compliments.

Im not all that observant. I never noticed the arrow on the fedex logo, I have no idea how many sets of lights there are from the highway to my house, and I couldn’t tell you what the person I was just talking to was wearing.

My head is full of trivia. For example, I can tell you what Birmingham City’s record attendance is, and the line of latitude Peterborough sits on.

On the other hand, I cant remember what I had for lunch yesterday, or how much it cost.

I’m learning that sport isn’t the be all and end all, that, when you are away from it, you can live without football, and that sometimes a long lie in bed is more fun than driving 2 hours to watch the game.

On the other hand, the individual moments that define sports matches, especially dramatic ones (Man Uniteds 2-1 win over Bayern, Wilkinsons last minute drop goal against the Aussies,) will probably remain amongst the most intense moments of joy I experience.

Having met with about 5 Irish university graduates, I know I will never think like them, or be accepted as one of them. I think and see like an English person, and I am proud of that.

I’ll never be able to bake bread like my nan, boil bacon like my mum or make pancakes like my dad.

I grew up eating and loving these as my favourite foods, completely unaware that they were Irish things.

Some people I make laugh all the time (Ampsy), some people I never make laugh, and I really have no idea if there is a difference in the way I treat those people.

At least twice I lost a friend because the relationship went from superficial to serious.

I wonder if there is one person in the world I am comfortable being in a room silent with.

I was a joker through my first job, and only really began to act ‘grown up’ when I became a teacher. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, and I don’t remember when, it stopped being an act, and I don’t joke around as much as I used to.

I lost my competitive streak many years ago. For some reason, now it feels great to let the other person win.

I always let my friends get their own way.

On the other hand, by doing that, I get something too – the pleasure of knowing they are happy.


My life has been fantastic. I’ve had chances that people from my background just didn’t always get. And I personally didn’t have to struggle and fight for those chances. I owe it all to other people, and very good fortune.

I like giving freely of my time to anything and anyone, but i dislike being forced to do anything.

I find it difficult accepting the generosity of others, and should remember this when people are reluctant to accept mine..

I know I am going to feel empty when I leave Canada, I’m pretty sure I know the reasons why, but I could not possibly explain them rationally.

The only positive I take from this is I know that, when I left the UK, I was really looking forward to being back.

I wasn’t at home for my 18th, 21st or 30th birthdays.

I have no urge to do anything more before my birthday, nor do I think I will feel any different after it.

I wouldn’t change any of the past 30 years experiences, good or bad.

Peterborough proof - cheesy tourist pose

Just in case any of you doubted my integrity (I am an auditor, how could you possibly?..), photographic evidence of me in front of 'Peterborough' sign.

Sad? Yes. But you know me.....

Random Canadian factoid no 4 - Pboro liftlocks

PETERBOROUGH LIFT LOCK
Peterborough's famous lift lock built in 1904, lifts boats 19.8m, making it the highest hydraulic lift lock in the world, as well as one of only 8 of its type anywhere in the world.

Who says there is nothing good to say about Peterborough?!

Peterborough - home from home

Above: Pboro City Hall

This wasnt in the script - in fact, so many things that happened over the weekend weren't in the script, but I am waiting for other people to help explain to me how it was that i found myself sleeping on a chair in Paul's flat on Saturday morning! But at 10am on Saturday morning Kim rang up and asked if I wanted to go to Peterborough for the day - after all, it would be wrong to come all this way and not see it! We had internet maps, coke, pringles, and enough music to entertain us in case we got lost.. so off we went to Pboro.

Peterborough has a population of over 74,000, it's about 150km north east of Toronto, and you get there via the 401 and 115, passing through Whitby, Darlington and Newcastle as you go. Eastern English theme? Maybe - after all, if you keep driving an hour or two, you'll eventually find yourself in Kingston and Hull. Someone was probably homesick all those years ago!

So what to tell you about Peterborough? Well, it is famous for its liftlocks, which is the subject of today's factoid/tidbit. Other than that?.. Well the following bits of trivia were brought to my attention:

Peterborough in July 2004 suffered huge flooding which you can have a look at on this link. http://www.daneagleton.com/20040715/ .. given Pboro (UK)'s position in the fens, which stand as the lowest point of the UK, that is something we share in common. Our last floods were Easter 1998.

I went to Pboro wearing my POSH football shirt. Hoping to get some empathy somewhere! Pboro, Ontario, doesnt have a 'football team'. However it does apparently have the No1 ranked OHL hockey team at the moment (equivalent of championship or league one level), so I got myself a souvenir top to add to my collection. The name of the team? The (hugely imaginative) Peterborough Petes.

The locks are on a 386km long waterway which includes 36 conventional locks, two flight locks, two hydraulic lift locks and a marine railway. The name of the waterway? Trent Severn. Anyone else think this copying is going too far?!

Pboro was formed early in the 19th century as a lumber town, it is a railroad and industrial centre. It is also famous for its canoe building industry and is the home to the Canadian Canoe Museum. Its UK counterpart is a railroad, sugar town and passport office.

Bryan Adams, that great Canadian who spent 16 weeks at No 1 in the UK charts back in 1991 ish, is playing live in Peterborough, Ontario on 9th December. My birthday. Wow. Scribbles would be excited! I am not certain that Bryan Adams is aware of a Pboro in the UK!

Worth a visit? If you are in to lift locks or canoeing, definitely. An OHL follower? Maybe. And if you are from Pboro of course. Not to mention if you are a fan of ageing Canadian rock stars!

A view of the main Peterborough high street.

The famous lift locks

And from another angle.

But here's a confession. I had no idea what a lift lock looks like, and so it transpires, neither did Kim! Does this matter? Apparently not, since, as you can see, we managed to have a look at them, take some pictures and do a spot of basic research (for the blog as well as to increase the random bits of trivia that fill both our heads - sorry Kim!) But, given that I am not beyond self ridicule here, here is what we thought were the lift locks when we first arrived in Peterborough...

Very dense? Probably! But, with some nice late fall colours showing off in the background, not a complete waste of two pictures!

Images from my first Halloween party

Courtney, together with 'welder' and 'Skeletor'. Darth Vader was also in the house, although there was no sign of the death star. Other party goers included 3 pimps, a priest, a doctor and a pirate. I am sure there is a potential joke in there somewhere!

The wig episode.

Me and my fashion designer.



So now you know what a "Canadian" looks like! My main failing. Forgetting to remember i also had a cape (the flag of Canada) around my back, and didnt pose once all night with this in shot. What a muppet am i?

Naff joke, or language barrier? Help!!!!!

OK - here it is. Feedback required. Here is a joke. The question is: does anyone, anywhere, get this joke? You dont have to find it funny (hey, if I'm telling the joke, the quality is, by definition, dubious..) Just tell me whether you understand what the joke is. I'm 0 for 3 on Canadians i've tried this joke on. 3 people still trying to work out why i even think its a joke, and one person wondering whether insanity has finally set in...

2 nuns in a bath.
1st nun: 'where's the soap?'
2nd nun: 'yeah it does, doesnt it?'

Please help! My long term stay in Canada, if it happens, may depend on the belief that I am not speaking a completely different language here! Not to mention my hosts' patience with me...

Random Canadian factoid 3 - the invention of Basketball

OK - so maybe this hasn't been universally received around the world in the way that watches have.. but since Toronto are beginning their NBA season tonight against the Washington Wizards (whatever they are), here is the story of the origins of basketball - invented by a Canadian.

James Naismith was the Canadian physical education instructor who invented basketball in 1891. James Naismith was born in Almonte, Ontario and educated at McGill University and Presbyterian Cllege in Montreal. He was the physical education teacher at McGill University (1887 to 1890) and at Springfield College in Springfield, Massachusetts (1890 to 1895). At Springfield College (which was then the Y.M.C.A. training school), James Naismith, under the direction of American phys-ed specialist Luther Halsey Gulick, invented the indoor sport of basketball.

The first formal rules were devised in 1892. Initially, players dribbled a soccer ball up and down a court of unspecified dimensions. Points were earned by landing the ball in a peach basket. Iron hoops and a hammock-style basket were introduced in 1893. Another decade passed, however, before the innovation of open-ended nets put an end to the practice of manually retrieving the ball from the basket each time a goal was scored.

In 1959, James Naismith was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame (called the Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame.)

For those of you who dont regard basketball as a suitably significant contribution to the world, we'll find something else tomorrow!

Random Canadian Factoid No 2 - The quartz clock

Since tidbit is clearly wrong, Mr Not Anonymous, I'll steal the word used by Cranium in their classic game instead!

Todays Canadian contribution to the world - the quartz clock.

Quartz Clocks: From the Timeline of the Quartz Watch: "In 1927, Canadian-born Warren Marrison, a telecommunications engineer, was searching for reliable frequency standards at Bell Telephone Laboratories. Building on earlier work in piezoelectricity, he developed a very large, highly accurate clock based on the regular vibrations of a quartz crystal in an electrical circuit" - the first quartz clock.

This is not an excuse to blame Canada if you are late for work tomorrow...

Random Canadian tidbits - No 1

This will be the first in a series. Of as many as I can remember to type. The thing about this country, coming from a place like the UK, is that the average person in the UK couldnt answer 5 everyday questions about Canada's contribution to the world we live in (i've already mentioned insulin, telephones and the 24 hour clock, just to mention 3...). Whether the average person in the UK could tell you 5 contributions the UK made to the world, I'm not sure either! But the readers of this blog are anything but average, so a bit of learning and growth for all of you..

Todays tidbit: Lester B Pearson, former prime minister of Canada, won the Nobel Peace prize in 1957 for his role in establishing UN peacekeepers (you know the ones with their sky blue berets..)

And for those of you who havent been here, Toronto's international airport (or YYZ as Sullivan insists on calling it!) is known as the Lester B Pearson International Airport, named after the same former prime minister.

Two tidbits in a day. That'll do you for now!

Shrivelled? Manky? Not us....

Matt and Kim's pumpkin handy work.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

Quote of the week - one for Halloween

"A shrivelled manky pumpkin isnt going to impress anyone"


From the BBC website, so must be true! See: www.bbc.co.uk/cumbria/features/halloween/pumpkin.shtml.

Comes with instructions for anyone else who wants to try making a pumpkin lantern this week! Enjoy!

A weekend of Canadian firsts

First Pumpkin lamp made for Halloween - as you can see above. And believe it or not, you can actually go out and buy halloween tool kits especially for this purpose - I was using a small orange coloured saw with the name 'make a face' on it, and a little pumpkin face on the logo.

First Canadian winter coat bought. Not before time, as the last 2 weeks have been freezing. Temperature yesterday. 16 degrees and sunny. The weather here is nearly as schizophrenic as the gas prices, which also appear to change daily. Time taken? About half an hour. Which will impress Sara and my mum. Both of those know how bad I am at making shopping decisions..

First pumpkin seeds ever eaten. Mmmm. And first perogie. Its like a mini cheese and potato pastie. Pretty good. My next culinary challenge may well be a Kraft dinner (sounds like Canada's answer to a pot noodle - watch this space).

First Canadian bacon eaten. Went to a place called Giggling Tomatoes for a post party breakfast on Sunday morning, and ate Canadian back bacon, with eggs and toast and a cup of English tea. Chose not to combine on this occasion with pancakes and maple syrup on the same plate, another Canadian favourite! Why would you mix pancake, maple syrup, bacon and eggs on one plate? I'm sure we can find a Canadian willing to answer that! Or to put it another way, I'm yet to meet one that finds that in any way odd.

First Halloween party too. There may be pictures. Am thinking about this. Whether i want to show pictures of me wearing a blonde wig in public... (did i actually type that out? oh dear..).

First blonde wig worn in public. That WAS a first too. Just to clear that up!

A completely different first. The Toronto City council on Friday approved the construction of Toronto's first ever purpose built soccer stadium - thats 'football' to you Europeans. The 20,000 seater place will cost $53.6m (25 million British pounds) and will host a Major League Soccer expansion team in 2007. For those of you unfamiliar with North American sport, they dont go in for promotion and relegation. Far too complicated for most Americans no doubt. So if any city, company or Abramovich like benefactor wants to put the money up for a new team, they 'expand' the league. How often does this happen? Fairly infrequently is the truth, but look at it this way. There are currently 30 teams in the NHL (top level ice hockey). There is no promotion or relegation. Toronto Maple Leafs are our own proud representatives. They havent won the NHL since 1967. When they did last win it, there were only 6 teams competing! If the NHL keeps growing at that rate, Lindros, Sundin and friends had better pull their fingers, skates and pucks out sooner rather than later if the Leafs are to end the longest Stanley cup drought of all currently active teams.

'Anything is normal on Halloween...'

Anything is normal on Halloween. So I'm told. Which presumably begins to explain this particular picture, which I saw in Brampton last week on my travels through the suburbs. And I shouldnt be surprised to see people walking to work in costumes or wigs on Monday. Apparently.

Halloween was a strange event that happened as kids for a little while. 'Trick or treat, smell my feet or give me something nice to eat...' and similar childish nonsense. Where has it been for the last 20 years? No idea, but, since no one is safe walking the streets of Handsworth (literally, if current press is to be believed) or near the Harborne Stores, it has in the main passed me by. Except last year, oddly enough, when on an audit of an American company which insisted its finance department dressed up for the event, I was sat in a room with an audit partner in Dracula cloak, and an FD wearing a witches hat and false nose. Is it any surprise those financial statements were filed late with a couple of screaming errors? (unfortunate use of the word screaming, but I'll leave it!)

So - it transpires that Canadians 'do' Halloween, and that 'anything is normal'. Precisely what this means I am not sure. But i have on my computer an invite "to consume copious amounts of liquids and blood, while enjoying the fine company of others and discussing non-work related activities." Should i be scared? Amongst the entertainment will be "Most revealing costume contest/Gambling/Socializing/Snacks/Finger foods/Drinking". And as for the dress code? Well my Canadian advisor has told me to come dressed as a 'Canadian'. No, I'm not sure i would immediately recognise the difference either. But I am sure it will involve all or some of: Canadian flag, tuque, ice skates, lumberjack shirt, ice hockey stick... but nothing revealing. Apparently thats just for the ladies. Which is fine by me!

Anything is normal on halloween... that is still scaring me just thinking about it. But dont expect to hear much about it. I could be in a state of shock. And even if I am not, I am sworn to secrecy. 'What happens at halloween, stays at halloween'..

Bonfire night next week. Maybe I can start a cultural exchange!

Cottage country - photos

Serious stuff during our no limit Texas Holdem session.....

The view from the cottage - and the family boat. Appropriately named too. 'Peterborough'

The view (2) - a bit further down...

the cottage 

The Canadian weekend - cottage country

I couldnt possibly leave here without at least experiencing a small semblance of cottage country. After all, its what Torontonians do. They work in the GTA all week, then migrate northwards up the 400 and highway 11 to 'cottage country'. I am sure there is a double entendre in there somewhere.. Reminds me of a joke Doug told me in the car today. A girl walks in to a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the bar tender gives her one. Yes. I know. Shite.

So, having randomly met Katie about 3 weeks ago in bizarre cicumstances (she had a blanket wrapped round her legs, all very strange..) we got talking the following night and we agreed to visit her at her cottage for the weekend of 22nd. Now this is the kind of thing I do when I am drunk. Compare with 'do you want to come and visit me in Canada?' (My personal visitor count moves to 5 with Joe's arrival on Tuesday.)

So. Me and another English guy Doug jump in a car, at 7 on a Saturday night bucketing with rain, armed with only a hand drawn map that Katie had given me in the pub the previous Monday. How scared was I? This journey was 250km, and to be honest, we had no idea a) where we were going and b) what we would find when we got there...

What we found was a group of 10 youngsters, 17 to 25, drinking beer and listening to music. And for the rest of the night, and the Sunday morning, we did what Canadians do. We sat in the cottage, we drank, we warmed ourselves in front of a log fire, we watched Vancouver win the hockey 6-4, we played poker at 2am (note to self: must stop agreeing to play poker for money at random times of the night after several beers), we went for a hot tub (it wasnt quite a Kiminator hot tub, that one still wins!), and sat and stared out at the lake, taking photos the next morning.

Its the middle of nowhere. Its peaceful. Its quiet. Its scenic. Its an escape from what surrounds the working week. And its fun. I guess thats why they do it!

Paul's leaving - 21 October

The pictures below are from Paul's leaving on Friday night. He had a good time. Unfortunately, for some reason, the people I seem to make best friends with in this firm, both here and in the UK, leave with alarming regularity... Should I be taking anything personally here? Or perhaps just changing my deodrant?! Let the comments (abuse) begin...

Paul - thank you for everything, hope you had a great time on Friday, and all the best in the new job. See you on Friday (when another one abandons us.....)

and a group huddle to end the evening..

and a few more... 

lots of (mostly) happy faces 

Paul clearly delighted to have escaped the asylum 

I swear it was this big.... 

It tastes awful, but it works...

You know you are living beyond the tourist existence when you end up experiencing the things that Canadians daren’t share with anyone else – not even Americans. After all, if you’re going to try and send your visitors away with a positive lasting impression of your country, why would you do anything to risk that?

Then again, its cold here and people get ill. Or specifically, ME! (I swear this is the only calendar month I have ever experienced where the temperatures in the same city have been above 30 and below 0 – and there are still 8 days to go) So, dressed in a suitably inappropriate shirt and jeans last weekend, I picked up a chill for my sins, caught a cough and lost my voice. Which, as some people will tell you, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Some people here think I talk too much…

Toronto’s urban angel Amy suggested the cure. “Try an over the counter cold medication called Buckley's...it tastes awful but it really does work for getting your voice back”

“It tastes awful…” Would you really buy a product that had that endorsement? Because that is how they advertise it! http://www.buckleys.com/ – See for yourselves.

Can I describe the taste? Putrid. The aftertaste is something resembling warm liquid fishermans friend. Sickening. And, if I am honest, the look of the liquid is not something that should be being described before the watershed. Canadians may understand what I mean by that. You wouldn’t drink it if you didn’t know what it was, lets leave it at that…

And does it work? Well, 5 days into my treatment, my cough is much better, but my voice is still weak. Then again, as people will tell you, maybe I talk too much!

The CN tower climb - the post mortem

Actually, that title's closer to the truth than ought to be the case! I really did for a stage feel rough on the climb, and, well, the more morbid contract writers of United Way had ensured that they included the word 'death' on the disclaimers we were signing before starting the ascent. Just in case, you understand!

United Way very kindly give you a t shirt at the end of the event with your time on it, as a souvenir, and perhaps a reminder to exercise more before next years climb! Watching the t shirts of the finished climbers go past as we were approaching the start, there were a couple in the teens (ie sub 20 min), a lot in the 20s, some in the 30s…. then the sounds of ridicule from Jonathan behind me when a woman walks past with something like 37 minutes on the shirt. I wasn't liking this! I had been ill all week, and, in the context of what my legs have been able to do for the past 5 years, the climb, not the time, was the challenge in itself. That said, I didnt want to take hours!

What was i hoping to do it in? Well, frankly, the elevator! But Bruce, our team captain, was asking us for our targets as we queued up to sign our lives away. Kim was aiming for 30 min, Jonathan nearer 20. Then he tells Bruce that "Matt is going for 20.." "Yeah", says Matt enthusiastically. "20, maybe even 15....... floors" (I really wasnt joking!)

So my personal stats: Steps: 1776. Floors 142. Stops 4 (yes, that’s really lame and yes, I was knackered – I had to leave Kim at about floor 118 and I needed 5 minutes more than her to finish off those last 20 floors, although the breather was nice!) Time 38.01. I was happy to follow Kim all the way up in her ‘slow and steady wins the race’ pacing. Which was definitely for the best, as if I had been in control I would have been jogging up the first 50 or 60 steps thinking ‘no sweat’, only to die a death on floor 10. Personal satisfaction gained? Yes. Humiliating time? - probably, but as was pointed out to me later, all the people with the slow times probably didnt bother wearing their T shirts as they walked away. Clever people!

And what did we gain? Well, we raised a few more thousand for United Way. And this is the cool bit. Our GTA practice has raised $1.1m in the past month for United Way, which will fund more than 200 social and health service agencies. 79% of our staff have contributed. You can read more at www.unitedwaytoronto.com and see what rewards others will get for our efforts.

For me, my reward was the top of the tower. But, unlike my previous visits, I really wasnt in the physical state to enjoy the view! Kim very kindly stayed behind to walk with me to the office, and in the process learned a new English word. Chunder. Enough said.

I'd do it all again tomorrow. Except maybe the mars bars...!

Jack and Dougal in parish newsletter front cover pose