Whats in your inbox?
Email - the pain of my life. Not only can I get 25 in an hour while people are planning the next social activity - you know who you are people! - but, in attempts to manage the 50 a day I am getting, my 'hotmail' account (other free web based email accounts are available)! doesnt get looked at, with the result that, now and again, i get a note saying:
"Your aunt has just been talking to your mother on the 'phone, it appears that she emailed you but has not had a reply."
Naughty Matt. And yes, Matt has replied to his auntie.
Anyway, now and again, between the IAS weekly updates, the Audit alerts, the other circulars, the social ones and the serious ones, something stands out and i try to remember to keep it. Sadly, all too often, they get deleted once my inbox hits 90mb, as thats my limit, and as various people reading this site will tell you, i've no idea what i am doing with a laptop...
Anyway, for my amusement, and hopefully some of yours, here are a sample of quotes from my inbox as it stands, before i delete them.
The Canadian communications
“At least you still have the Ashes” (coming from a Canadian, this is my greatest achievement since I’ve been here!)
“Also...text message? I'm not sure what you mean. My understanding is that 'mobiles' or cell phones (as they are known in Canada) are to be used to...well... phone people. Crazy, I know”
“Brain injury causes British accent. This explains quite a lot” (from this link -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3235934.stm )
Client communications
"p.s. I’m on page 68 of the IFRS questionnaire and I’m ready to hang myself…."
"I don’t think they know what “lead sheets” are" (from a corporate controller, you'd be worried too!)
A party invitation
"You'll be pleased (?) to know that you are top of the guest list, so there's an offer you can't refuse. I think you are going to be expected to provide some singing / guitar playing entertainment"
"pass-the-parcel is also on the itinerary along with bingo" (in case I’m too boring, presumably!!)
The Random others...
"cricket was great. Could not enjoy it all that well because of the exams, though. Since they're over now, I've got a broken nose. The missus didn't realise I was getting out of the car behind her and smashed the door in my face! I am having to go for surgery on Wed."
"I'm told that Canada is a lot better than the US" (yes this is real, and added just for you Canadians!)
"I dread to think what time it is in your part of the world now and why on earth you are free to email" (Auditor struggling with -5 hours!)
"tune into Gazetta this week, for more shots, rounds and people hitting the bar than 'Boozey Britain 2'"
"Milan were all over the old lady like a sailor on payday..."
"I'm feeling quite sick (strange and plentifulmix of drinks last night). Been browsing your website. Do you actually have time to do any work what with all the sightseeing, socialising and then writing it all up?"
"A few of us ended up back at the office until 5 drinking the champagne and having races on the chairs - how mature!"
"one bartenders name is Dale and if you are really nice to him he looks away while pouring your alcohol"
"You'll like this one Matt, although it may come as a surprise - have snared myself a bird!!"
"Now for the interesting bit…….she is a new first year"
"Be very proud to be British because.. Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an Ambulance"
"they have already invited me to the Christmas party and also to Christmas lunch with the afternoon off work to continue the drinking, they sound like my kind of people!"
"I've got a bit of a headache (caused by IFRS2) and a sore bum (from climbing Snowdon) but am otherwise fine"
I shouldnt curse email. You guys are giving me all the entertainment i could ever want, so thank you. Whoever you are, wherever you are, catch up with you soon.
"Your aunt has just been talking to your mother on the 'phone, it appears that she emailed you but has not had a reply."
Naughty Matt. And yes, Matt has replied to his auntie.
Anyway, now and again, between the IAS weekly updates, the Audit alerts, the other circulars, the social ones and the serious ones, something stands out and i try to remember to keep it. Sadly, all too often, they get deleted once my inbox hits 90mb, as thats my limit, and as various people reading this site will tell you, i've no idea what i am doing with a laptop...
Anyway, for my amusement, and hopefully some of yours, here are a sample of quotes from my inbox as it stands, before i delete them.
The Canadian communications
“At least you still have the Ashes” (coming from a Canadian, this is my greatest achievement since I’ve been here!)
“Also...text message? I'm not sure what you mean. My understanding is that 'mobiles' or cell phones (as they are known in Canada) are to be used to...well... phone people. Crazy, I know”
“Brain injury causes British accent. This explains quite a lot” (from this link -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3235934.stm )
Client communications
"p.s. I’m on page 68 of the IFRS questionnaire and I’m ready to hang myself…."
"I don’t think they know what “lead sheets” are" (from a corporate controller, you'd be worried too!)
A party invitation
"You'll be pleased (?) to know that you are top of the guest list, so there's an offer you can't refuse. I think you are going to be expected to provide some singing / guitar playing entertainment"
"pass-the-parcel is also on the itinerary along with bingo" (in case I’m too boring, presumably!!)
The Random others...
"cricket was great. Could not enjoy it all that well because of the exams, though. Since they're over now, I've got a broken nose. The missus didn't realise I was getting out of the car behind her and smashed the door in my face! I am having to go for surgery on Wed."
"I'm told that Canada is a lot better than the US" (yes this is real, and added just for you Canadians!)
"I dread to think what time it is in your part of the world now and why on earth you are free to email" (Auditor struggling with -5 hours!)
"tune into Gazetta this week, for more shots, rounds and people hitting the bar than 'Boozey Britain 2'"
"Milan were all over the old lady like a sailor on payday..."
"I'm feeling quite sick (strange and plentifulmix of drinks last night). Been browsing your website. Do you actually have time to do any work what with all the sightseeing, socialising and then writing it all up?"
"A few of us ended up back at the office until 5 drinking the champagne and having races on the chairs - how mature!"
"one bartenders name is Dale and if you are really nice to him he looks away while pouring your alcohol"
"You'll like this one Matt, although it may come as a surprise - have snared myself a bird!!"
"Now for the interesting bit…….she is a new first year"
"Be very proud to be British because.. Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an Ambulance"
"they have already invited me to the Christmas party and also to Christmas lunch with the afternoon off work to continue the drinking, they sound like my kind of people!"
"I've got a bit of a headache (caused by IFRS2) and a sore bum (from climbing Snowdon) but am otherwise fine"
I shouldnt curse email. You guys are giving me all the entertainment i could ever want, so thank you. Whoever you are, wherever you are, catch up with you soon.
posted by CBC at 11:13 pm
4 Comments:
Mr Not Anonymous. Its a shame youre anonymous because, if you knew me, you'd know i havent got the foggiest when it comes to IT, memory sticks, or burning on to CDs.. speaking of which, i had a friend you remind me of, who never ot round to burning the Desiree track from Euro 2004 onto a CD for me, so if you had a crystal ball and could tell me what it was, i could go buy it while i'm here...
1 minute is all it will take? cant see a problem there! Although, it does somewhat change my view of a line of my favourite poem.. 'if you can fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run...' :)
Hey, I'm quoted on your blog! Or rather, my emails are.
Today I only got about 50 emails, and none came in after 3pm...
It is deeply frightening how normal this daily email frenzy has become. Frightening, hilarious and f-u-n!
Thank you for the song BTW - wonder if i'll work out how to get that burned onto a CD before i give them back this laptop! And you didnt add it to Supergrass, i chose it the next day and it wasnt worth wasting a CD for one song and you'd already done the supergrass one. its still in its van halen box too!
Who are the pizza companies who get a pizza to your house quicker than an ambulance?
My pizzas generally take 45 minutes to arrive, whilst when I order an ambulance it's here in less than 6 minutes.
I'd like it the other way around if poss.
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