This week in Canada I....
Sorry folks. Oh it has been a weird topsy turvy week on and off the field. Work coming out of my ears (and anywhere else it could find places to emerge from...), party invites to celebrate everything from exams to birthdays to the mere existence of English people in Toronto, pool competitions... and a little bit more besides. I just havent really found the energy to tap into the screen this week to say hello to you all. But anyway.
So. A brief synopsis. This will make sense to me (and probably me alone), but will in time remind me of the week that was.
This week in Canada I..
- learned that if you ask for a 'white coffee' in a coffee shop you'll get stared at blankly, but if you order an extra large double double, regular or a black coffee, you will get something coffee related. I'm not sure why 'white coffee' causes so much confusion! And dont even get me started on 'jacket' potatoes!
- got a Canadian texting me every week day this week. Elyse at least will recognise this as an achievement of sorts!
- learned that, when being told to use the 'clear' lane in the snow, 'clear' does NOT mean the lane without traffic in it. To put it another way, snow is much slippier than tarmac!
- learned to drive no handed on the 401. I managed 4km through Mississauga on Wednesday night without touching the steering wheel - admittedly rarely hitting the heights of 10kmh as the snow came pouring down. I attribute this skill entirely to my dad, who drove many miles no handed whilst I was a little boy - and at far greater speeds than 10kmh. Something to aspire to...
- did the English proud in a drinking session, as 3 of us spent far too long sinking tequila shots. And unlike Williams, I was in work by 845 the next day!
- was a pool shark for the night, with the particular highlight being the 7 balling of the same Williams - before he really got stuck into the alcoholic shots, I might add. On the other hand, despite winning 6-1 in singles, I should admit that, in mixed doubles, i lost 3-0. In that moment i also discovered that I am worse than average with women! Hmmm. Should i rephrase that? Nah. Self ridicule is what this blog is here for!
- learned that it is not always better to have 'loved and lost' as the proverb goes, but it does give you the experience to deal with it better the next time.
- spent the night pulling faces with a bunch of young professionals in a public bar. Oh, may i never forget what it feels like to do young silly things! And hopefully, Suzanne permitting, there will be photographic evidence of this later this week!
- got the most wonderful comment in my blog from my UK blogger pal scribbles. And on the back of this I really started for the first time looking forward to seeing the UK again. Its been 5 months, and it suddenly feels like it.
- got an email from my home office telling me I couldnt come back to Canada between January and March. On reflection, this will give some people a break from me (which i am sure they need!), and it will give me a chance to reflect on the experiences I've had here so far, and whether I would want to repeat them. The odds were looking pretty good up til last week, so who knows...
- got an invite to a Canadian Christmas dinner that was cooked for 3 British guys who have been over here this autumn. Chris, Elyse, Amy, Nicki, Jamie, Will, Paul, Suzanne, Katie, Christine. Thank you all so much. Most of the funniest nights we spent here were thanks to you all.
- opened Canadian Christmas crackers and discovered that the piece of paper with the joke comes with 2 jokes, one in English and one in French. This is Canada, after all!
- discovered that Canadian Christmas cracker jokes are every bit as crap as ours:
1) Why do bakers work so hard?
Because they kneed dough
2) How can you stop a rhino from charging?
Take away his credit cards
3) Customer: 'This steak is terrible, I want the manager'
Waiter: 'Sorry sir, he's not on the menu'
I dont think even Kim is going to crack a smile at those!
- discovered that Glasgow Rangers FC, having lost 2-1 to Hibs this weekend, have gone 8 games without a win for the first time in their 132 year history. Their fans dont know when they are born. The Toronto Raptors (NBA team, known locally as the 'craptors') lost their first 9 games this season! Not to mention the joys of supporting Peterborough or Birmingham.
- went to watch the Pld 9 lost 9 Raptors at the Air Canada Centre on Sunday. And they won! Crowd of 17,594 enjoyed the entertainment. And because they scored 100+ points (107-94 v Miami Heat), we got a free slice of pizza from 'Pizza Pizza' (its a chain, and i challenge anyone to find a way of using the word pizza 4 times in 5 words in a real English sentence!). For the record, the Raptors are now 1-11.
- Reread the whole of my blog. It was a funny week, and i really wanted to remember the good that Canada has been for me. To all you Canadians, you have a great place here, I love it and I know I will be back to share time with you again. Its been a huge pleasure, the whole thing.
So that was last week. Photos I will sort soon. I couldnt really have predicted last week, and i guess anything could happen this week too. www.pootergeek.com has his own thoughts on this matter, (hilarious, for anyone with a small grasp of German who fancies a laugh), and i for one wouldnt be surprised, or disappointed to see it happen.
Nachste Montag, Wetter permitten, wir invaden der Frankreich.
Lets see what the new week has in store. Eh?
So. A brief synopsis. This will make sense to me (and probably me alone), but will in time remind me of the week that was.
This week in Canada I..
- learned that if you ask for a 'white coffee' in a coffee shop you'll get stared at blankly, but if you order an extra large double double, regular or a black coffee, you will get something coffee related. I'm not sure why 'white coffee' causes so much confusion! And dont even get me started on 'jacket' potatoes!
- got a Canadian texting me every week day this week. Elyse at least will recognise this as an achievement of sorts!
- learned that, when being told to use the 'clear' lane in the snow, 'clear' does NOT mean the lane without traffic in it. To put it another way, snow is much slippier than tarmac!
- learned to drive no handed on the 401. I managed 4km through Mississauga on Wednesday night without touching the steering wheel - admittedly rarely hitting the heights of 10kmh as the snow came pouring down. I attribute this skill entirely to my dad, who drove many miles no handed whilst I was a little boy - and at far greater speeds than 10kmh. Something to aspire to...
- did the English proud in a drinking session, as 3 of us spent far too long sinking tequila shots. And unlike Williams, I was in work by 845 the next day!
- was a pool shark for the night, with the particular highlight being the 7 balling of the same Williams - before he really got stuck into the alcoholic shots, I might add. On the other hand, despite winning 6-1 in singles, I should admit that, in mixed doubles, i lost 3-0. In that moment i also discovered that I am worse than average with women! Hmmm. Should i rephrase that? Nah. Self ridicule is what this blog is here for!
- learned that it is not always better to have 'loved and lost' as the proverb goes, but it does give you the experience to deal with it better the next time.
- spent the night pulling faces with a bunch of young professionals in a public bar. Oh, may i never forget what it feels like to do young silly things! And hopefully, Suzanne permitting, there will be photographic evidence of this later this week!
- got the most wonderful comment in my blog from my UK blogger pal scribbles. And on the back of this I really started for the first time looking forward to seeing the UK again. Its been 5 months, and it suddenly feels like it.
- got an email from my home office telling me I couldnt come back to Canada between January and March. On reflection, this will give some people a break from me (which i am sure they need!), and it will give me a chance to reflect on the experiences I've had here so far, and whether I would want to repeat them. The odds were looking pretty good up til last week, so who knows...
- got an invite to a Canadian Christmas dinner that was cooked for 3 British guys who have been over here this autumn. Chris, Elyse, Amy, Nicki, Jamie, Will, Paul, Suzanne, Katie, Christine. Thank you all so much. Most of the funniest nights we spent here were thanks to you all.
- opened Canadian Christmas crackers and discovered that the piece of paper with the joke comes with 2 jokes, one in English and one in French. This is Canada, after all!
- discovered that Canadian Christmas cracker jokes are every bit as crap as ours:
1) Why do bakers work so hard?
Because they kneed dough
2) How can you stop a rhino from charging?
Take away his credit cards
3) Customer: 'This steak is terrible, I want the manager'
Waiter: 'Sorry sir, he's not on the menu'
I dont think even Kim is going to crack a smile at those!
- discovered that Glasgow Rangers FC, having lost 2-1 to Hibs this weekend, have gone 8 games without a win for the first time in their 132 year history. Their fans dont know when they are born. The Toronto Raptors (NBA team, known locally as the 'craptors') lost their first 9 games this season! Not to mention the joys of supporting Peterborough or Birmingham.
- went to watch the Pld 9 lost 9 Raptors at the Air Canada Centre on Sunday. And they won! Crowd of 17,594 enjoyed the entertainment. And because they scored 100+ points (107-94 v Miami Heat), we got a free slice of pizza from 'Pizza Pizza' (its a chain, and i challenge anyone to find a way of using the word pizza 4 times in 5 words in a real English sentence!). For the record, the Raptors are now 1-11.
- Reread the whole of my blog. It was a funny week, and i really wanted to remember the good that Canada has been for me. To all you Canadians, you have a great place here, I love it and I know I will be back to share time with you again. Its been a huge pleasure, the whole thing.
So that was last week. Photos I will sort soon. I couldnt really have predicted last week, and i guess anything could happen this week too. www.pootergeek.com has his own thoughts on this matter, (hilarious, for anyone with a small grasp of German who fancies a laugh), and i for one wouldnt be surprised, or disappointed to see it happen.
Nachste Montag, Wetter permitten, wir invaden der Frankreich.
Lets see what the new week has in store. Eh?
posted by CBC at 10:55 pm
8 Comments:
I thought the cracker jokes were funny! But I am easily amused (lucky for you, Matt!).
V. glad you had fun last night! Your gift was awesome and Chris was really happy to get it!
And...was I just referred to as a young professional in a public forum? Gentle reminder that on that night, you were pulling more than faces, and there is photographic evidence!
Mr Not anonymous - i can assure you that i have no idea what the phrase 'pulling' refers to in this context, but its nothing like as good as it would be if it was English pulling. On the other hand, Miss Anonymous, please do elaborate on precisely what i did pull... (for my sanity, if nothing else!!)
Oh, dear. First of all I was unintentionally anonymous. And there appears to have been a cultural / linguistic misunderstanding, as apparently pulling something in the U.K. has a rather different meaning then it does in Canada.
So, to clarify: Matt is a good boy who has NOT been corrupted by his time in Canada! If he pulled anything on Saturday night, it was a muscle while dancing.
My ego liked the first version, but my parents read this website! (I know this because my dad has challenged me to newer, braver no handed deeds in the car!).
On the other hand Mr Not Anonymous, there were some cool photos on Saturday. I shall go looking and post later on...
Elyse, I fear it was not a cultural or linguistic misunderstanding - just people with dirty minds (myself included). I too was confused as to what CBC was pulling (other than faces) and why he was doing it in public, but was scared to ask. Thanks for clearing that up. :)
You Zum Beispiel?!! I was expecting you to refer to the 'girls' i usually attract! (i'm using inverted commas as I'm pretty sure you'll find a way of replacing the word 'girls' with something or other!)
Nicht was Du gesagt hast, als wir in Essen waren...
I rather fancy I am with you on that one... oh well. Beer sweet beer. Eases the pain!. How did this disintegrate into a chat about women anyways?
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